Guidance | Relationships
At any age there are people (some well wishers and some not so well wishers) who dig deep into your personal life. When you are dating, they ask questions about who he/she is, who are his/her parents and what he/she does for a living?
If you are lucky enough to identify the well wishers from those that aren’t, then the next step is deciding how much of what they say should influence your decisions. Though they have good intentions, they tend to forget that it really isn’t their decision to make. MY life, MY choice.
Of course we should value everything our parents, family and well wishers have to say, but the saying is true, “Different strokes for different folks…” so do they really see what you see in him /her and do they know best? Furthermore what about friends, where should their advice lay on your mind?
The thing about being in love is that it is unlike so many, many other things. For example, everybody does not have driving experience, everybody does not have knowledge about accounts or science or music, but every Tom Dick,Jane and Harry has been in love, and so many people feel experienced and expert enough to offer some opinion, comment or point of view about the love flames they see around them; especially if they are acquainted with both lovers or one of them. It’s a human thing to have an opinion about such issues in such cases.It’s very natural.But it is also quite natural to be annoyed when someone invades our space in any form or manner.We are territorial beings. We do not like people threatening to take our pleasures away from us.Being in love is a pleasurable experience,so when people comment negatively, our territorial instincts naturally kicks in, (we cannot help it) and we can defend our pleasure-base sometimes with tremendous fierceness, even at the cost of losing friends and family.In tiny places like ours people instinctively feel they know you even when they don’t.So you well ofter hear people say, “what is she doing with him?” or “what is she doing with her?”That is because although they really do not know you, the smallness of the space makes them feel as though they do, and so they feel they have a right to offer an opinion.
In small spaces like ours where we see the same people every single day of our lives, we acquire a kind of familiarity, a sort of kinship, a distant sense of acquaintance, and these things come with feelings about, or towards, these people we see every day, although we have never really spoken with many of them. We do, however, have opinions about them all.So when love begins to enter this scenario, these “distant-acquaintances”, if they have strong enough opinions of you, will begin to comment.
There really is no need to be bothered.you may blame it on our limited space and the raw human tendency(we cannot resist it) to notice what fellow humans do.